28-12-20 / CONJUNCTION COMPILATION

A selection of captures over a seven day period as Saturn gets closer to Jupiter and its moons before passing.

20-12-20 / A LOCKDOWN [MIS]ADVENTURE

Saturn and Jupiter are closing together in our skies on their approach to a mad conjunction on December 21st which has been dubbed "The Christmas star", the likes of which hasn't been seen for 400 years. The 16th and 17th promised the addition of a crescent moon, and like any self-respecting idiot I had my eye on the UK weather for weeks, but all the forecasts said FUCK OFF in capitals.

The 16th was typically blighted by thick cloud cover, and on the morning of the 17th I stared at an equally depressing outlook. Naturally, I shook a defiant fist at the screen and packed a bag with my camera and two lenses. Tripod over my shoulder, I set off for the train station like an intrepid sort. A couple of hours on trains and buses then saw me in the middle of nowhere, miles from home in a spot with very little light pollution looking south. I still had a bit of daylight grace so walked another couple of miles and found a prime spot with nothing but pheasants for company. Noisy buggers, it turned out.

The sun went down, my nuts turned cold, and the clouds continued to raise a collective, scoffing middle finger. It didn't look promising. Just around the time when I started asking myself urgent life questions, a crack in the sky revealed a delicious banana of a moon. It was then mere minutes until I could see Jupiter. It became darker and not only did Saturn start winking at me like a proper tease, but I could see Jupiter’s moons Callisto, Io, Ganymede and Europa. Well smash my arse, I was pleased.

Alas, my joy was short-lived. My phone received a much-dreaded moment-of-truth email from Berlinale film festival to say that my new short film, which I'd worked countless hours on over three years, had been rejected. Instantly crushed and brought down from outer space to earth with a thud, the clouds then started to swallow the planets like a harsh exclamation mark.

And then it was dark. In every sense. Fingers crossed for Rotterdam, I groped, then packed up my stuff. Guided by head torch, I started the two mile walk to the bus stop. I'm a fast walker anyway but I put in the extra to arrive in good time. I'd been warned that in the dark I'd have to wave an illuminated phone if the bus driver was going to see me. So here I was, and the bus comes boiling around the corner at unnecessary speed, and I'm feverishly flapping my phone like a bird with one wing. I resisted jumping in front of it to make the bastard stop, but it zoomed straight past and off into the darkness, taking my spirit with it.

Should I wait an hour for the next one? What if the same thing happens? Etc. The temperature was dropping and there were only so many trains left back home from the town I was trying to reach, which was four miles away. “SHIT!” I barked at an indifferent grassy verge, and started walking. Google maps predicted a seventy minute journey so my feet became bullets and aimed for fifty. While I stamped along I thought about the bus driver and wished upon him an uncomfortable Christmas rash, at the very least.

I looked up to see an amazing sky, and quickly unpacked all my crap to capture it. But all I really managed to capture was a five minute delay. Back on with the bullet feet and three miles later it became clear that I was going to arrive late for my train by - you guessed it - five minutes. You have to laugh really. I definitely didn't though. By this point I'd produced enough sweat to put out a small fire, so I slowed to an amble. There was always a later train I could catch. The station had nothing to offer except trains, and the town was the grim birthplace of our country's own personal Satan (Thatcher). A sort of private hell, then. But I'd get home eventually. I did get the images I'd set out to capture after all, if only I could forget the Berlinale rejection.

Then I checked my emails and saw a rejection from Rotterdam.

29-11-20 / R.I.P. DAVID PROWSE

Back in the late 90s David Prowse gave me a decent chunk of his time for a smashing interview, despite my being 'warned' about him in advance by a stuffy, disingenuous Star Wars co-star. David turned out to be an absolute delight. A real person, easily smiling and chuckling.

07-10-20 / A STORM AND SOME STARS

Only just got around to processing this clip but, a few weeks ago, before Wales, myself and beats-botherer The Petebox headed 20 miles out of town to catch a meteor shower. Nature's cinema offered up something even better on the other channel as these duelling clouds had a relentless (and thunderless) shitfight 🤜⚡🤛

30-09-20 / PANCHIKO MUSIC VIDEO

There has been some noise on YouTube about ‘The Most Mysterious Album On The Internet’ after a CD was purchased in a charity shop and someone turned detective trying to discover its origins. The band in question (Panchiko) have since gained quite the following and the evolution of their belated success is quite brilliant. Conspiracy theories and accusations of a publicity stunt flourished, but it’s a straight-up weird success story. It just so happens that one of the founding members is a friend of mine so when he asked if I would do a video for their track Deathmetal I popped over to his place and, with a view to preserving their anonymity, we were done in less than an hour.

23-09-20 / NIGHT SHOOT IN SNOWDONIA, WALES

Just back from deepest darkest Wales, having finally shot a long-planned series of timelapses which required military precision to co-ordinate. It was for part of a documentary project I’ve been working on sporadically since 2015, about the manufacture of a unique loudspeaker. Transporting this 350kg monster to an optimum location for the shoot was no easy feat, requiring the creation of a bespoke trailer and 24-7 guard duty, performed in shifts by a team of three.

06-09-20 / FILIPIÑANA

Claps to Rafael Manuel for his double-whammy win at Encounters Film Festival with Filipiñana. A smashing short.

20-09-20 / ‘PRELUDE’ PREMIERES AT ENCOUNTERS

World premiere this week of my new short film Prelude at Encounters Film Festival. Geo-restricted outside the UK for now I'm afraid. This one has been a mammoth labour of love. Shot in 2017 and requiring endless frame-by-frame rotoscoping since then, all to depopulate the streets of London before some virus copied me.

07-08-20 / CINEUROPA INTERVIEW

A wee interview I did about As Dead As It Gets.

10-06-20 / NICE REVIEW OF ‘AS DEAD AS IT GETS’

"I found myself instantly engrossed in As Dead as it Gets... I was onboard with the characters from the beginning and each playthrough revealed more depth and details. Before I knew it I had spent 45 minutes exploring multiple paths". Full article here.

02-06-20 / RELEASE POSTPONED

As Dead As It Gets was supposed to be released today. Yesterday I thought I had better post at least a picture to but couldn’t bring myself to put a title like AS DEAD AS IT GETS out there in the wake of George Floyd’s murder. I told Wellington I couldn’t do it and they said they’d just heard that the release is being postponed for the same reason.

05-05-20 / PICTURE LOCK

We are finally locked after much feedback and debate. We now have two weeks to grade and mix, which will be interesting while everyone is in isolation.

Amber (Mica Ricketts), Brenda (Kieri Kennedy), Trevor (Rupert Procter), Lee (Michael Socha) - Photographs by Chris Harris

17-04-20 / ‘AS DEAD AS IT GETS’ TEST LAUNCH

Delivered for a ‘soft launch’ in New Zealand, where it will run for two weeks to pilot how people respond. The last two days largely consisted of making a mug float in front of Lee which wasn't shot on green screen. The problem was that he twisted his hips just enough to make his his legs/jeans move behind the puppeteering hand that I had to remove. Lots and lots of layers for five hours straight yesterday, then today I created a single TGA frame of just the thigh and keyframed a power-pin to warp-match the movement. In all, it was a total of one day on that one shot. It was funny spending hours rotoscoping while Lucas was on the other end of Zoom doing similar work on a different shot, occasionally swapping exclamations like "You BASTARD!". I still have my own big to-do list but this soft launch should unearth all sorts of feedback. The app has a very different feel to what I expected.

08-04-20 / IT HAPPENED

I just saw the first short film about an empty London, online. It was by someone I know. I could barely pluck up the courage to watch it and felt sick doing so. Even if I go full pelt to finish mine now it will surely be one of several hitting the festival circuit. It’s impossible to shake the thought of what might be different had I finished it sooner. Like 2018 sooner. Apart from being visually novel (not any more) this pandemic would surely reframe it. Or maybe I would have been burned as a witch. Either way, the feeling of the rug being pulled is deeply unpleasant while racing to the finish.

25-03-20 / UK GOES INTO LOCKDOWN

Two days ago we were officially locked down, so no more in-person editing with Lucas. We'll make it work somehow, although I've no idea how ADR would happen when we get to that stage. Perhaps we can post a zoom recorder from one actor to the next and do it remotely. In other news, I jumped out of bed last night when a helicopter vibrated noisily overhead for a good half-hour. This habit has become a regular inconvenience in recent years because the new short is full of helicopters and I like to avoid library sounds. I must get the film finished ASAP to counter the increasing dread that a wave of ‘barren city’ films might be on their way.

21-03-20 / EDITING, EDITING, EDITING

Lucas and I have changed up our routine due to schools having shut down and him having to play teacher. We do three hours in the morning, a long lunch break, then three hours in the afternoon. Let's see how it goes. It's a day by day thing and it looks like I won't be allowed to leave the house for editing within days if people continue to ignore social distancing advice. Lucas has been investigating tech to facilitate remote editing so I can share his screen from home. I’ve taken the extra time to start editing the opening section, which thankfully now works since we were able to reshoot a key scene before leaving Ilkeston.

19-03-20 / LIFE IMITATES ART

Here is a still from a short film I've been plugging away at since shooting in April 2017 - but paused when commissioned for As Dead As It Gets. Working title is Prelude. I had always intended to draft in post-production assistance from fellow spods to help get the film completed in decent time. Alas, the rotoscoping workload was WAY too heavy to expect any free help. This image is from one of the first sequences I completed, and I was lucky to get Big Ben just before it was silenced and covered in scaffolding for five years (!) of restoration work. The film isn’t quite finished yet and incalculable hours over the last three years have already gone into digitally depopulating London landmarks, the intended impact of which is surely now doomed if articles like this are anything to go by.

14-03-20 / EDITING / SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

No sooner had we escaped the prepping of VFX shots and started actual story editing, we’re now back to choosing VFX plates again. One step forward, two steps back. Our VFX artists are spread out between India, Paris, London and the USA, and there is some concern about losing people to coronavirus. The UK has started to self-isolate. Shop shelves are empty and selfish types are buying second freezers to stockpile. For now I'm still at Lucas' every day but he has a terrible cold which I gave him last week. Every morning when I arrive my nose starts to run as his germs pounce on me excitedly before realising I was the original host. I've started taking on some VFX myself and last night I came a cropper trying to construct a non-existent corridor plate from piecing together various other shots. Took a few hours but I got the sod done by skipping munch. We’re still beholden to a 3rd April delivery, which seems crazy when the world is shutting down and we're impossibly behind. It's lucky we finished shooting when we did as other shoots are now postponing worldwide.

05-03-20 / ‘AS DEAD AS IT GETS’ WRAPS

The last three days. Corridor scenes. We broke a curse by finally completing the Monday call sheet. It’s a tricky shooting space and time spent laying tracks turned out to be time poorly spent. I finally caught the lurgey that’s going around and can't stop sneezing. Morning radio reports of the spreading coronavirus are concerning, and a few people are falling ill here, but I think it's just general exhaustion.

On Wednesday we had two units working at once, and I was able to zip back and forth between sets. Apart from one mishap where an actor on set two started chatting during an important take on set one, causing Mal to explode, it all worked out. We even completed ten minutes early. Drank too many cups of the celebratory Prosecco then went into town to eat with the production team.

01-03-20 / ‘AS DEAD AS IT GETS’ WEEK FIVE

Yeah yeah, so Monday was tough. Tuesday was better, although I fucked up with a risky last-minute change, switching one character for another as a cause of someone’s death, then realising the implications when I got home for the evening. Couldn’t sleep for punching myself in the face. On Wednesday I checked the shot and decided that the problem could be resolved with some trickery in post, then found a quiet little room to spend lunch rewriting the next day’s big scene. We completed three of the sixteen story strands, which I think should probably be announcements on set - small victories to elevate morale as we creep closer to the finish line. All things considered, Wednesday wasn’t a bad day at all. Good vibes in the air.

Thursday’s big scene was tricky. By lunch we had a 'reality check' meeting about what we no longer have time to shoot. Changed some flashback scenes to photos, which can be created during post. In the afternoon I had to make a decision to press on after shooting three takes of a crucial moment, knowing that we didn’t quite nail it. Invisibly stitching two takes into one might salvage things. The day ended on a celebratory note when we managed to bag a key lobby scene in less than ten minutes by distilling everything into one shot, which enabled a key actor’s planned wrap. One of those vibes where the shitclock is ticking and all concerned get laser-focused with collective determination. Love it. On Friday morning we completed the scenes in Jonno's room, a super minimal set that is testament to the good old ‘magic of cinema’. Officially back on schedule. A new schedule, but hey we’re on it.

23-02-20 / ‘AS DEAD AS IT GETS’ WEEK FOUR

Back to day shoots and Monday morning took four hours to get started because the lobby set wasn't quite ready, although this did gift me some time to find, print and frame archive pics of Coventry (where the story is set) for the lobby walls. Then, just as we were about to roll, a glass globe light fell from the ceiling and smashed exactly where an actor was about to be standing (and where a stand-in had just been laying). An extremely close call. The bulbs were apparently way too hot for the fitting. Mondays, yaaaaay.

Was sluggish on Tuesday after a crap night’s sleep, although it was the first day we completed the call sheet. Found myself pulled in all directions. Someone says “Simon...” on the left then as soon as you finish talking you turn around and someone on the right says "Simon...", then you deal with that and someone says “Simon...” from behind, and it just goes on and on. At one point I got so sick of my name and wanted to be called something else, like Thor. I did discover a moment of peace by going to the loo, but even then I walked out of the door to be intercepted by the 3rd AD. Ah Mister Penfold, I'll probably be looking over my shoulder for you months after this is over.

Wednesday involved an effects shot that took ninety minutes to shoot, and on Thursday we completed the call sheet again and even finished fifteen minutes early. Went to pub with everyone but shouldn't have because Friday was the toughest day so far. I let myself be persuaded to change a specific action in the film, partly to honour an actor’s last-minute request, partly due to a practical hiccup. Well, the knock-on effect has been too enormous to mention. This interactive lark is such a delicate house of cards and a change made so early in a timeline affects all parallel strands for maximum brain-ache. I’m really feeling the punishing pace and getting lost trying to simplify the remaining scenes, while wondering if this all-new clusterfuck will even cut together. There's just no time to reconstruct such an early scene without consequences, and today I paid the price all day long. Come Friday night I drank too much and woke up at 5am on the sofa, fully clothed :o

16-02-20 / ‘AS DEAD AS IT GETS’ WEEK THREE

Monday shitstorm again. I looked out of the kitchen window in the morning and was reminded of something I asked months ago – “What if it snows?”. And here it came. Lots of it. Cancelled trains and traffic jams. Arrived on set to find crew sweeping snow off the square. Everyone seemed to be having a go and by the time they finished you’d never know it had been snowing. Crack team! It turned out to be a freezing but snow-free night, and Mal performed more scheduling witchcraft to bag us an extra night in Ilkeston before Friday’s return to the studio.

Wednesday afternoon I woke with a three-hour window to roughly edit the rushes of things we shot when it was too cold, to identify what was needed in a potential reshoot on Thursday (our last night on location). Half of the three hours vanished on phone calls, leaving only Thursday afternoon to do the edit, right before shooting. I also needed to recce the lobby set back in the studio, lest we turn up to find clanging problems that would set us back further next week, but I just didn't have time.

The noisy flagpole drove me bananas. The big town clock loomed over set like a constant reminder that we were running out of sand while a drunk lady appeared and laid out on our stretcher. Our actual-paramedics-playing-actors Annie and Naomi were brilliant, and we were lucky to have them when our champ runner Hannah burned her hand filling a hot water bottle. They dressed her wound and sent her home. It didn’t stop her coming straight back the next day, the pesky trojan. It rained for the last ninety minutes and actors were having to lay on wet ground. I got frustrated that we were carrying on and a weird head chill started to set in, but Mal was determined to wrap two actors who were due to wrap.

On Thursday our Estonian commissioners visited and seemed pleased with progress. The mighty Wellington Films secured us a less excruciating deadline, which was an immense relief. The local bell-ringing society were in full effect during the shoot. Location manager Emma Yeomans based herself in the church with them so they would stop when we turned over and resume when we cut, but the ringing had a mad effect on me and genuine fight-or-flight was setting in just before they finished. Then there was a drunk and abusive bloke who declared himself bipolar and tried to convince our black security guard that he wasn’t racist at all. He wouldn’t leave and started to distract the actors, so the police turned up and we had to go indoors while they struggled to escort him away. They were still trying to reason with him when the schedule pushed us back outside, but we got through everything AND managed to finally reshoot the problem meeting scene. Wrapping location was music to everyone’s ears. No more laying on cold ground for Michael or Mica, and no more short shorts in Baltic temperatures for Kieri. Despite all the complications it could have been worse in so many respects, but returning to the studio still seemed like relative bliss.

Friday was the nightclub scene and went according to plan. On Sunday, my hope had been that our deadline extension would give me space to plan the lobby scenes instead of spending all day in an edit. Just an hour maximum with Lucas to decide on one particularly involved shot for VFX to get on with. But phone calls took up the day so prep didn’t get a look in and we're shooting in there tomorrow. Two more weeks and two extra days. Feeling overwhelmed but I made my own bed and have only myself to blame that I didn’t write a script about two characters on a sunny island. Just grateful that Wellington have my back.

09-02-20 / ‘AS DEAD AS IT GETS’ WEEK TWO

On location shooting nights in Ilkeston. Working with Michael Socha again after fourteen years (!) but we didn’t even get to meet until he arrived on set, which gives an idea of the time pressure. Another Monday meltdown where the unassuming became all-consuming. Rain, cold, and even thunder. Shivering actors trying to do an intimate scene.

Things picked up on Tuesday as Mike McLoughlin delivered again, transforming the town hall entrance into a hotel porch. Lest things get too positive though, the catering truck sank and needed winching out of wet mud. Front page news proclaimed CARMAGEDDON as gridlock slowed everything to a crawl and actors arrived hours late. The pub immediately next door to our location on the town square proving problematic as outside drinkers are basically on the edge of set - vomit man, cock-out man ("Film this!”), and yelling drunks at only 5pm are all enough to make you consider teetotalism. Adult teenagers everywhere, actual teenagers trying to sabotage shots, a pedestrian crossing auto-beeping for nobody every two minutes, and a fucking flag pole going chink-chink-chink whenever I don’t look at it.

Controversially took the luxury of twenty minutes rehearsal time with Rupert (Procter) and Michael. First rehearsing so far, and we were glad of it. I pray for more time like that. On Saturday the signed photos arrived from Alison Steadman, hah!

Editing Sundays are difficult. Found lots of holes that need picking up but there's simply no time to be thorough and editor Lucas (Roche) and myself are run ragged. The workflow is untenable but the deadline demands it and VFX need us to identify which shots we are using so they can start work on their own to-do list. Inevitable tensions in a premature edit put me in bad shape for the shooting week ahead. Need the weekend to recharge but Saturday is spent washing etc then it's all day Sunday until 11pm feeling grim about what's not cutting right because we're shooting out of sequence. Glaring issues with what we shot at the wet/freezing start of this week, as expected. Couldn't even watch it back. The absence of rehearsal time doesn’t help but I really need to reshoot the meeting between the two leads. Unlikely when we are already behind.

02-02-20 / ‘AS DEAD AS IT GETS’ WEEK ONE

Mike and his merry men finished the first of five sets in record time. For me the shoot began with total brainmelt. Practical effects an enormous learning curve for all. Slow progress. Especially when portrait orientation reveals parts of the frame that wouldn’t traditionally be seen. Two characters can't enter or exit a room in a single shot, necessitating two separate ones. Scrappy and frustrating.

Day one was a breeze on paper but a swamp in reality, anticipated by First AD Malcolm Davies’ but a surprise to me. Must keep an eye on my curiosity about certain VFX requirements coming off like resistance with effects supervisor Joe Batten. The studio is chilly but the mighty Roger Sloman, in his character’s vest and boxer shorts, doesn’t complain once. Crazy to be working with an actor whose inimitable roles in Nuts in May and Grange Hill had such an impact on me. Even better that he’s a great bloke and full of energy and curiosity. Kieri as Brenda and Mica as Amber thankfully get along swimmingly and vibe well. Script supervisor Francesca Brooks already proving indispensable as the schedule becomes inevitably shuffled and throws an already difficult balance of story strands into potential chaos. All in all, the crew and cast have been 100% for this mad little project that asks so much of them. When Roger wrapped I turned shameless fanboy and asked him to scribble on some stills from Nuts In May, joking that I’d now have to stalk his co-star Alison Steadman to do the same. The lovely sod only went and suggested he take the pics away and ask her to do exactly that :)

12-01-20 / SET BUILDING & CASTING

Nuts how fast things are moving. Workhorse Mike McLoughlin and his team are working around the clock building the first set. Casting sessions in Nottingham and London have finally secured the remaining lead. Feel calmer for finding her.

07-01-20 / TEAM ‘AS DEAD AS IT GETS’ ASSEMBLE

Tech meeting, where I tasted my first cup of tea with milk since hating it as a kid and still don’t get it.

25-12-19 / CHRISTMAS CANCELLED FOR PREP

Too much work required for As Dead As It Gets to go and visit family for Christmas this year, so here I am scribbling storyboards and such. Haven’t done storyboards for years but the sheer volume of VFX shots in this one requires maximum preparation. I’d forgotten about the amusing downward slide in quality as ideas change and impatience takes over :)

30-09-19 / ‘AS DEAD AS IT GETS’ COMMISSIONED / ENCOUNTERS FILM FESTIVAL

Been commissioned to write and direct As Dead As It Gets, a multi-narrative interactive film with 16 endings, specifically for release on an upcoming phone app. Based on an unfinished script I wrote for a potential TV pilot in 2009, it’s a hellish timeframe to pull off so we start immediately. I’ll be co-writing with regular collaborator Tim Cunningham and old pals Wellington Films will be producing.

In other news, I went to Encounters to lap up some new films. Highlights were Behnam Abedi's Ceremony Night (Iran), Qiu Yang's She Runs (China), Irene Moray's Watermelon Juice (Spain), Pia Andell's Match (Finland), Marcin Polar's The Tough (Poland), José Magro's A River Through The Mountains (Portugal), Thomas Georgiadis' Sheep (Malta), Caroline Markowicz's The Orphan (Brazil), Tristan Heanue's Ciúnas (Silence) (Ireland), and Charels Wall's Little Grey Bubbles (Canada).

04-07-19 / FOUNDRY SOUND

A well satisfying day geeking out on some fancy ambisonic sound recording at the foundry with Adam Fletcher. My previous six visits to this foundry over the last four years have been filming trips (for a TBC documentary) and it was very satisfying to concentrate purely on picking up audio bits I’ve been missing while editing.

22-06-19 / EDITING ‘MAJORITY’

Got my best scissors out to cut Majority, a new short by Tessa Hoffe.

11-06-19 / HAMBURG SHORT FILM FESTIVAL

Made a super-short film called Timelapse for Hamburg Short Film Festival's Lost in Translation competition. It isn't a timelapse. I didn't see any of the international competition programmes films but some films I liked were Reber Dosky's Meryem (Netherlands), Martin A. Walther's Train Robbers (Norway), Pavlo Ostrikov's Graduation '97 (Ukraine), and Rune Spaans' The Absence of Eddy Table (Norway).

28-02-19 / TEST SHOOT IN SNOWDONIA, WALES

Just returned from a recce in foggy Snowdonia, testing a potential dark sky location for an upcoming night shoot. It was dark enough alright - so dark that after shooting, this tit failed to see, and therefore pack away, his case of lenses. It wasn’t even closed, and sat out on the grass overnight through heavy rain. Miraculously, everything was okay.

14-01-19 / RE-TROS MUSIC VIDEO NOW LIVE

An animated film I did for up-and-coming, Depeche-Mode-supporting, Beijing-based trio Re-TROS is now live. Inspired by the cover art from their critically-acclaimed album 'Before The Applause', many alternating hours of headaches and beard-twizzling went into its creation. Please appreciate the music through headphones or non-phone speakers. Then buy their album.

12-11-18 / WINTERTHUR SHORT FILM FESTIVAL

I finally made it to Winterthur International Short Film Festival in Switzerland, after many years of feeling like the only one still to attend. They screened Stew & Punch as part of a UK focus and I was lucky that the programme I was part of had sold out (they even had to bring in extra seats). I was the only director from the programme present for a Q&A but almost everyone stayed for it, which was nice.

Some standout films were Corina Schwingruber Ilić's All Inclusive (Switzerland), Ismaël Joffroy Chandoutis' Swatted (France), Rati Tsiteladze's Prisoner Of Society (Georgia) and Salomé Jashi's Speechless (Georgia).

30-09-18 / 'THE BIGGER MAN WAS NOT EMBARRASSED' AT ENCOUNTERS

Returned home positively buzzing from Encounters this year, having devoured some great films and getting myself all bowled over by the Georgian programmes (fully wow). My film The Bigger Man Was Not Embarrassed received a wee nod in Sight & Sound magazine as a festival recommendation, which was a lovely bonus. I attended more screenings than usual and skipped my own, but from what I hear the film was in fine company and I missed an all-round good show, gah. Having recorded the source audio for the film this time last year, after a night at this very festival, I once again found myself transfixed by the drunken debauchery going down at the harbourside. I'm sure it gets madder each year.

Some highlights - Isabel Lamberti's Amor (Netherlands), Lucy Bridger's Mothering (UK), Marian Khatchvani's Dinola (Georgia), Jérémy Comte's Fauve (Canada), Charles Williams' All These Creatures (Australia), Alyssa McClelland's Second Best (Australia), Nana Ekvtimishvili's Waiting For Mum (Georgia), Dea Kulumbegashvili's Invisible Spaces (Georgia), Andrea Brusa & Marco Scotuzzi's Magic Alps (Italy), plus a brilliant three-film retrospective of 'Georgian Master' Mikheil Kobakhidze.

17-09-18 / EUROPEAN FILM COLLEGE

Just back from my third visit to the excellent European Film College in Denmark, giving a series of talks about all things short film. Once again, the students were a keen bunch, full of hungry questions and keeping me on my toes. Love this place.

11-06-18 / 'THE BIGGER MAN WAS NOT EMBARRASSED' AT HAMBURG

The third (and probably final) typographical short film about drunk Britain, The Bigger Man Was Not Embarrassed, just screened at Hamburg International Short Film Festival. Like Brass Heaven and World War Cup, it is based on clandestine audio recording of drunken behaviour. This particular episode focuses on an aggressive, posturing man on the Saturday night streets of Bristol while attending Encounters Film Festival last September.

20-05-18 / WARSAW SHOOT

I just returned from a few weeks in Warsaw, directing two commercials and getting to play with all kind of toys. During a day of blazing sunshine, we created a storm with wind, rain and hail. Then an actual storm came and cleared us off set! Also got to destroy a car, work with a superstar dog, and enjoy a puffy purple ankle from spider bites in the long grass (avoided the ticks though - one crew member wasn't so lucky).

08-12-17 / 'STEW & PUNCH' ONLINE DEBUT

The online debut of Stew & Punch, with the fine-taste folk at Short of the Week. This one is a favourite of mine (if not top of the list) for all sorts of reasons. As usual, you can also find it on its dedicated page.

15-11-17 / COMMERCIAL BANNED

A commercial I recently directed (below) was just broadcast on TV and promptly banned by the Advertising Standards Authority for being deemed "too scary". A mere SEVEN complaints can do this.

10-11-17 / HANCHENG VIDEO DIARY

Finally got this chopped up, from the China trip which ended exactly one month ago:

21-10-17 / TALK AND JURY DUTY IN TRONDHEIM, NORWAY

I was kindly invited by Sami filmmaker Marja Bal Nango to the KortFilmKonventet (Short Film Convention) in Trondheim. She had to choose a fellow filmmaker for a director-to-director talk and I was the lucky one. A two-day programme of talks and screenings, I also sat on the jury for the filmmaker pitching competition alongside Lisa Ogdie of Sundance Film Festival and Per Fikse of Minimalen Short Film Festival (who was also in China, officially making it a small world). I made sure to visit Hell, too. As usual, more images on Instagram.

19-10-17 / CHINA (UPDATE - VIDEO 2 POSTS UP)

I returned from Hancheng ten days ago but since went to an event in Norway and fallen behind. I'm also editing a small travelogue film to accompany this China entry but haven't had chance to finish it yet so watch this space. In the meantime, you can see more images via my Instagram.

This was my second visit to planet China, and on this occasion it was for the 1st Jinzhen International Short Film Festival. I was representing the short film Spinosaurus, which I shot & edited for my mate Tessa Hoffe. All in all, a fantastic time was had and new friends were made, albeit with memorable bumps along the way.

The city of Hancheng, population approximately 450,000, dubbed a "village" by some of the Chinese volunteers, was a very different prospect to my previous Chinese experiences in Ningbo and megacity Shanghai. Personally, I loved the place and could easily have stayed longer, for the food, the filming, and the warm-spirited locals. Full of excited curiosity about westerners (especially those with beards), children were struck by giggle-fits and the really young ones would sometimes freak out and start screaming in fear. Locals were constantly aiming their camera phones, sometimes discreetly, sometimes less so, and sometimes from both sides at once. It only became too much while navigating slurpy noodles.

A local lady who eavesdropped on a conversation I attempted to have with a shopkeeper proceeded to follow me around for the next 15 minutes, stopping when I stopped, resuming pace as I did, until I eventually about-turned and walked so fast through the crowds that a ninja would've struggled to keep up. This was the 'real China' I had heard about but didn't really find before, with toddlers walking around in crotchless, toilet-ready trousers and adults staring at you like you're made of vegetables. The public toilet-training is something I could do without, especially when it happens right in front of you while eating.

But this is all jumping ahead. Arrival at the festival hotel saw a glitchy start to proceedings, with shocked (and sleep-deprived) directors being paired up into shared rooms. I was as horrified as everyone else, but one poor guy who was ill found himself pleading to have his own space. I got lucky being paired with very cool French director Clément Courcier. Talented bugger and all, going on to win best experimental film and taking home a generous cash prize. Dude as he was though, it's not ideal for anyone having to sync their timetables with a roommate so as not to disturb them, and jetlag-induced middle-of-the-night writing, for example, was out of the question. After discovering that another filmmaker objected strongly enough to sharing and got her own room, I managed to do the same (with the help of Lynn - thanks again!).

"First world problems" included unreliable (often dead) WiFi, which was a bigger frustration for those who were in the middle of projects requiring Skype calls, thus having to work from the lobby. Similarly absent was coffee, and the chirpy vendor across the street probably never sold so much sweet Nescafe, his face lighting up whenever a filmmaker walked in. More baffling though was an apparent lack of toilet paper, only issued in a single teeny-tiny roll per room at a time. I get it that coffee isn't a staple, but surely everyone needs loo roll (except for me of course - I'm visited by the poo fairy while I sleep).

The festival's glamorous, Oscars-like opening and closing ceremonies wore affluence like a hat. By comparison, the daily exhibition of films was consistently troubled, with seemingly endless technical problems involving bad audio, no audio, no subtitles, Chinese subtitles covering English ones, etc. Such problems seemed to be lessening as the festival went on and I got the feeling that the staff and volunteers were overwhelmed by the amount of work required. I didn't attend many screenings because I'm too easily distracted by the Chinese audience talking loudly through films, checking their phones or, in one case, bringing a flashing balloon into the cinema (!). I remember this from last time and it is simply their way, to discuss everything, at full volume, as it happens. It wasn't their intention to be rude, and the shock on people's faces when asked to be quieter during a screening said it all.

There was a funny moment in a department store when six of us couldn't work out how to pay for anything. What should have been simple through a series of mimes and pointing at cash was actually an almost-impossible mission that lasted twenty minutes. When the store manager finally found us to resolve the situation, it transpired that everyone pays via WeChat on their phones and cash transactions need special approval. It also turned out the prices were more expensive than advertised so we ended up putting most things back anyway.

Excursions kindly arranged by the festival included the ancient Liu village - mostly roofless ruins but with a few still-inhabited homes. Mooching through one particular corner of a crumbling house, I stopped inches shy of receiving a face-full of Joro spider. Described as 'The living fossil of the ancient and traditional foilk community of the Orient', Dangjia ancient village was bigger and utterly heaving with tourists. I was especially pleased to see the Sima Qain temple and do a spot of filming for a new, ongoing short film idea.

Between such trips (and of course the screenings), everyone came to grow fond of the hotel and its nightly, impromptu lobby gatherings, not to mention the hotel's 3rd floor of hi-tech karaoke rooms-for-hire. I'm no fan of karaoke, but a fully-decked out club room with beer, snacks and sofas turned out to be a regular fixture for filmmakers partying into the wee hours (right through until breakfast, in some cases).

A Chinese lady sitting next to me on the flight home really summed things up. Noisily cracking seeds between her teeth from the moment she sat down (a huge red flag to a misophone like myself), she regularly barged my elbows or leaned right over me to look out of the window. Earplugs didn't quite block the sound of splintering seeds and the resultant fight-or-flight panic/rage that usually hijacks me in these situations started to creep in. However, once I offered her my uneaten crackers from the first in-flight meal, she couldn't help sharing at every conceivable opportunity. This lady, who had initially become a huge discomfort to me, went on to offer me her bottle of water, her bun, the egg in her fried rice, and eventually her aforementioned seeds (which she thankfully stopped eating).

Delerium from lack of sleep had me leave my laptop on the final flight out of Helsinki. Amazingly, Finnair traced/called me while I was on the underground from Heathrow to central London, so I returned and got it back. I'm already looking back and smiling at the memories - navigating the insanely busy crossings, the 'no horns' signs ignored by every single bleating car, the cab drivers smoking in their 'no smoking' cabs, the men and women farting noisily in the street, the ice-filled urinals in a posh hotel (our hotel's toilet cubicles didn't even have doors)... the list goes on. This is a culture so vastly unfamiliar in which the only constant is to expect the unexpected. I feel damn privileged to have experienced it and I'd do it again in a heartbeat..

Some film highlights were Makoto Nagahisa's And So We Put the Goldfish in the Pool (Japan), Douwe Dijkstra's Green Screen Gringo (Netherlands), Tessa Pope's The Origin of Trouble (Netherlands), Kamal Parnak's Hasti (Iran), Francis' Ten to the Minus Forty Three Second (France), Maimouna Doucoure's Mother(s) (France), Christophe Switzer's Soury (France), Ronny Trocker's Estate (Belgium), plus some animated films - Giulia Martinelli & Marta Gennari's Merlot (Italy), Anita Kwiatkowska-Naqvi's Locus (Poland), and Henning Thomas' Hallux (Germany).

24-09-17 / EUROPEAN FILM COLLEGE / ENCOUNTERS FILM FESTIVAL

A smasher was had in Ebeltoft (Denmark) at the European Film College once again, since my first visit two years ago. Presenting a mixture of lectures and screenings about short film, I'm probably repeating myself in saying it really is the consideration for any fledgling filmmakers out there who are wondering where (and if) to study. If that means you, don't just raise your eyebrows - look into it.

Then it was Encounters Film Festival again, this time representing a film I didn't direct - Spinosaurus by Tessa Hoffe, which I shot and edited last year. Right back to old-school guerilla tactics on this one, with only two days, only available light, no funding, first-time young actors and a production crew of just Tess, myself, and sound recordist Peter Brill.

27-07-17 / 'THE HEIST' LAUNCHES ON FACEBOOK

I've been waiting very patiently to get this out. A spot for Royal Mail about identity fraud:

15-06-17 / 'ON RESISTANCE' AT HAMBURG SHORT FILM FESTIVAL

Well. THREE months since my last post. It's apparent that Twitter and Instagram are responsible for this blog becoming almost redundant. The fact that I've wanted to change this whole site for too long and can't find the time to learn new software doesn't help. I'm actually working on several projects at once but it isn't very interesting to write about screenwriting and/or tedious rotoscoping, which are the two things taking up most of my time.

Hamburg Short Film Festival time again, and I made this for their 3 Minute Quickie competition:

The UK focus programmes (which also included Soft) were a nice catch. Some films I hadn't seen for years, and some gems I'd never seen at all. Our very own John Smith programmed two of the shows, sharing films that inspired him in his early career. My flight home was like Brass Heaven all over again, literally cornered by 20+ stags at the back of the plane. A friendly bunch, mind.

27-03-17 / 'WORLD WAR CUP' AWARDED IN POLAND

Whoot, last night, World War Cup scooped a prize in the international competition at Short Waves festival in Poznan, Poland. What a lovely lift. And what a brave jury (with exemplary taste, I might add) to give an award to such an oddity. To think I almost attended this festival until the last moment. Then I spent the last few days regretting it as I saw various peoples' Instagram posts. Then, finally, when the email came in inviting me to come and collect the prize in person, I didn't see it until 24 hours later (i.e. today, when the awards ceremony was only a few hours away). So that bit is shit, but otherwise, YESSS!

21-03-17 / 'BRASS HEAVEN' ONLINE

Just took the password protection off Brass Heaven:

13-01-17 / 'BASS INVADERS' REMASTERED & ONLINE RE-RELEASE

I can't tell you how good it feels to have finally finished this. Of all the titles I've remastered in the last few years, in between new projects, Bass Invaders has been by far the most complex. It was hard enough first time around, back in 2001, and I've no idea how we managed it back then on such a tight deadline. I drank Red Bull until my bum bled, that I do remember.

It still looks like DV of course, and remastering is never intended to change that, but the increase in size from PAL letterboxed (720x405) to HD720 (1024x720) means I no longer have to omit it from retrospective programmes because of it's teeny-tiny size in comparison to other films.

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